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Rejection
Topic Rating: +6 (6 votes) 
November 30, 2012
8:08 pm
devilof98
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Ive been having a crush on this girl at my school. Im scared that if I ask her out she will reject me and not talk to me anymore. Its also become to painful to just be friends. Any1 got any advice for me to not feel so scared of rejection?

November 30, 2012
8:27 pm
LightWarriorK
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It is best to be up front and honest with her.  The more time that passes, the worse you will feel, and the better the chances that she'll find someone else.  And if she doesn't feel the same way, then at least you can move on.  Take it from one who has been in that position several times and failed in every case: high school friends are temporary, so if you have a chance to make something more special happen, don't let it pass you by.

"Awake, oh man, and be wise." -Thoth
November 30, 2012
9:09 pm
Dalferes
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Girls like confidence. Even if she says no, in the back of her mind, she at least knows you had the balls to at least ask her out. Breath into the nose, out of the mouth and just ask! :D

This is my signature and I hope you enjoy it. - Dalferes
November 30, 2012
10:04 pm
ryanpitts
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Remember this: if you never shoot the basketball, then you never have the chance to miss OR make it.

I have awesome shoulders.
December 4, 2012
5:43 am
devilof98
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Thank you guys. Im gonna do my best to follow all of ur advice today

December 4, 2012
6:12 am
Dalferes
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Best of luck!

This is my signature and I hope you enjoy it. - Dalferes
December 5, 2012
4:48 am
devilof98
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Of course the day I was gonna try it she was absent. Trying again today

December 5, 2012
2:17 pm
devilof98
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Im really confused and upset. I was walking up to her to ask her out when she hugs her x bf. It was devastqting to me because it wasnt just a friendly hug. She leaned in and closed her eyes. But when she ever hugged me she tried to stay distant. When I asked her about it and asked if she still had feelings for him she said no but she wouldnt look me in the eye. What do you guys think? Does she like him?

December 5, 2012
2:26 pm
LightWarriorK
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In my experience, you never fully get over your exes.  She will always have some lingering emotion for him.  That doesn't mean she wants to be dating him, though.

Sounds like you're in the same place.  I don't think anything has changed, and your best bet is still to go for it.

"Awake, oh man, and be wise." -Thoth
December 5, 2012
3:01 pm
Pherian
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Girls are humans.

Humans have emotions.

Emotions are messy.

That being said, Light's right. Dating and feelings are complex and can't be easily defined over a forum or in person. The fact of the matter is she's probably confused about how she feels about her ex-boyfriend, about you, about Rihanna and Chris Brown, about the legalization of weed in Colorado, etc. Sometimes it helps to have things cleared up, out in the open, rather than hiding in the corners of your mind constantly whispering at you. Try and be straight with her, clearly define the situation, and win or lose, at least you'll know where you stand.

I don't envy your position, but I've been there (most people have at some point). There's always the chance she'll light you on fire for asking her out. But there's also the chance that she'll say yes.

And honestly, much higher chance of her saying yes than lighting you on fire.

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to stop going to those places.
December 6, 2012
10:11 am
meatbawllz
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In my experience, even if it hurts to see her pay attention to someone else, don't let her know it affects you. Dal is right, girls like confidence. If you seem desperate, needy or like a vajayjay, she'll just be turned off. Don't ask her things like if she has feelings for another guy. Be confident, witty, interesting, and make her want to be around you. I don't want to call it 'hard to get' but more like 'i could get you or anyone i wanted'. It could be she hugged you distant because you're too awkward. Make her comfortable. If it ends up not working out, hey, there are millions of girls out there. Chances are these girls you're dating in HS are not even going to know you in 10 years when it matters. I recently looked up an old girl I had a crush on in school, now 14 years later. I used to think she was so hot but she's a fat dog now. Married to a biker and has kids in their teens. Dodged a bullet there.

Founder and owner of VeteranCraft. "He who says he can, and he who says he can't, are both usually right." -Confucious
December 7, 2012
11:42 pm
jamesjjw
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hey man im in the same situation i asked a girl out a good friend of mine, she rejected me i was upset but got over it even though i see her almost everyday, rejection or not you'll learn from it, if you need a friend man you have alot here so good on you for asking for it.

December 8, 2012
8:58 pm
DramaticBandGeek
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I have only one experience in the situation james said... Even it was one, I Completely regret it. Don't let that discourage you though, I just ended up the completely horrible side, doesn't mean that'll happen to you. Also, take this advice... No matter how sweet it may be, don't write them a letter before you start going out... That's how I lost my great friend for what's now an entire year. We are slowly recovering, but it's still painful and honestly... There's no other girl out there whom I enjoy more... Which is why I'm not gonna stop trying to be with her. But first... I may need some advice here; The next time I talk to her alone... Should I ask her what she didn't like about me?

If I've learned anything over the years... It's that things come and go, but in the end you always return to the beginning eventually... Even if you find it to be filled with disgust and agony, it's a place that is yours and /can/ be repaired... If you have the right tools, that is... Happy Trails...
December 8, 2012
9:40 pm
jamesjjw
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no man thats not a good idea... its makes her feel like she was harsh and it makes her feel bad which is counter productive not a good idea to ask no matter how bad you want to know if you really want to go that route ask what she likes in a guy just lead into in not ask outright

December 9, 2012
2:14 am
Dalferes
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Don't even ask that...  reestablish your friendship first before even considering taking the next step.  Also writing letters does not stand for confidence.  Its like you don't have the balls to talk to her in person and that could've turned her off.  Letters don't have emotions, the feeling isn't there, even if it was intended.  Its always best to have a conversation.  If you want to ask her questions, give her questions she actually has to think about.  Not something like 'what's your favorite color', which normally comes second nature.  Also, since this is probably at school, do not talk about school at school.  Don't ask if she did her homework or what she learned last class.

This is my signature and I hope you enjoy it. - Dalferes
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